Superman Sucks

Last week I rented Superman for my kids. I had all these good memories of watching it as a kid (I would have been about 9), but my memories have been distorted, I assume, through the years. First off, I didn't even recall the first third of the movie at all. I started wondering if I'd even seen the damn thing--Marlon Brando warning the inhabitants of Crypton, baby SM being sent in small capsule, toddler SM being raised by some farmer couple, MB giving fatherly advice to the confused young adult. I remembered nothing until the "real" Superman appeared as Clarke Kent the newspaper guy with Lois Lane. Finally I felt at home only to quickly realize Superman is the most uninspiring superhero alive. As Stan Lee, the creator of the original Spiderman, has commented, Superman is boring--he can do anything, even speeding around the world in order to go back in time to save Lois Lane. I could have fastforwarded through the last half but by then my kids had gotten into it, forgiving it the lame special effects and eerie Brando floating face. We sat and watched till the end. Thank goodness for Spiderman. Now there's a thinking man's hero: conflicted, unable to live up to his expectations, confronted with the death of others, silently brooding over his love for M.J.