What do you call a person (usually the mother) who deals with the initial and most profuse barfing incidence of a child? Having played this role last night, my wife nailed the term this morning: barfmaid. Although this title may sound like a mere barf cleaner, I can only aspire to such high titles as last night I waited safely in bed till the herculean scraping and washing was done. But I did go on duty after that to take care of three bile throw-ups (really spit-ups) which allowed my wife go back to sleep. Still, a pale comparison to the duties of a true barfmaid, who faces one of the greatest challenges of parenthood.
Let us praise all barfmaids young and old: mothers who rushed to us as children, hand on our back while we wrenched up our guts, and women who hit the floor running before their mates gain consciousness.
4 comments:
Oh, how I count the days until I can be a barfmaid. I do remember this job when I was babysitting. One thing I learned and will not forget with my own children, DO NOT MOVE A CHILD WHO IS BARFING!!! I learned this the hard way and had to clean not one spot but an entire hallway, the kitchen and the bathroom. I hope whoever is sick gets feeling better soon. Love ya!!
The worst job of the barfmaid is cupping one's hands to catch the barf so that it won't land on the floor/carpet/comforter, etc. The worst incidence of this is when Son ran from our bed to the bathroom and made it to the bathroom, but not to the toilet. I had to scour the floor multiple times without barfing myself.
Also, the worst thing was when Son threw up in bed, we cleaned it up and put him back to bed, only to discover, an hour later, that he had thrown up again, in his sleep. Terrible!
I hope the illness does not spread and that there is no more barfmaidenry in your future.
"Barfmaid" is a truly apt neologism. "Barfmaidenry" is also excellent. I hope no one is being or practicing either as of this writing.
I hope the household feels better soon, and what a lovely epistle to the barfmaids of our lives. To it I add a resounding wretching sound by way of salute and a sincere hope that barfmaidery is the province of my mate at such time as it becomes an issue.
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