Because they ask you to condense your experience (often years of experiences) into an hour and FEEL it: are you feeling it?
Because they are always caught up with flag waving and thanking our military for our peace—go tell the Iraqis about your fuckin peace. And, btw, what the hell does this have to do with a group of sixth graders moving onto junior high?
Because there is forced kitschy consensus
Because they bring the worst out in many people—a hyper uni-focus on their kid/grandkid, dads tripping over each other to get the right photos with video cams recording every precious moment, and that galling look of pride
Because they always seem to highlight the same kinds of kids: either the talented and extroverted who need no attention OR the sympathy cases like the girl with cancer asked last minute to sing in a trio even though she can’t sing
Because they package life into beginnings and endings, the big events where we pat ourselves and others on the back—of course life is actually a long day to day process with few endings and none we really choose
And lastly because they continue to multiply exponentially—kindergarten graduation, 6th grade graduation with pomp and circumstance and diplomas, one week music camp graduation with trophies, first level piano graduation with graduation photos…
Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest--lots of downright nasty, pessimistic, cynical feelings on my part. Now I will be ready to face the next kid graduation when it comes. Thanks.
With my luck they will institute "Summer graduation" to start off the new year for all those children who successfully made it through the summer without their parents killing them. They can give awards to any child who did anything other than watch TV and play video games: like eat a veggie, make a bed, fold clothes, read a book, write a poem... And, if the budget allows, they can offer pins to any child who made it to Lagoon more than three times. And trophies, yes trophies, for children who made it up before 9am on 10 or more mornings.
The possibilities are limitless; our futures are so bright with glorious graduations on all the horizons.
7 comments:
If they do give summer trophies, there needs to be a "weeding trophy." I should have gotten one!
Oh no! If there was a summer or any other trophy, everyone would get one. Even the kid that just showed up, because everyone is special and deserves a trophy! By the way, where's my trophy!!
So, how was your daughter's graduation? Please, don't hold back.
Oh, graduations are hate-worthy, for all the reasons you say and more. All kinds of graduations. Just you wait, though--it's pretty terrible when you have staked out this critique and still find yourself all choked up at, say, a high school graduation. It happens.
Well put! I love this post. I didn't attend either of my college graduation ceremonies, and I have dreadful memories of HS graduation, except that it made me extra pleased with the fact that I was moving on.
You wrote:
"Because they package life into beginnings and endings, the big events where we pat ourselves and others on the back—of course life is actually a long day to day process with few endings and none we really choose."
Yes. It's all about the packaging. And trophies. Without trophies, how can we tell our life story? Our life of triumph over ... well, life?
You wrote:
"Because there is forced kitschy consensus."
But what better way to prepare our kids for the business world?
Damn straight Ron! Now conform and like it damnit! What is wrong that you would doubt the status quo? Especially in "blessed" Utah? You are either with us or your against us.
We live in a cliche' society here. We choose to live with 6th grade based IQ's therefore we should not be surprised with 6th grade presentations of self-aggrandizement, and the silly rhetoric that goes with it. Perhaps you should have sent your neighbor to watch?.
The verbal vomit was delightful and I will recommend it to others..
Tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek,
;)
HH
Ron, my son, you do have a great sense of humor. But, try not to think too deeply. You are right--one day at a time--some almost perfect, others we're glad to let go. Check with you tomorrow.
Love, Mom
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