My youngest son is right now under the bed in my office. Since starting the 1st grade he has taken to hiding out under there playing his Nintendo and spying on our feet as we walk by. I think the close space gives him security during this rough time—the other day he jumped up on my lap, got his face right close to mine with tears in his eyes, “I want to be with my mom and dad more.”
It’s been a difficult transition to full-time student. I’m not sure why I’m surprised that he is struggling—duh!, he’s been ripped away from the arms of his parents, set down with 30 other kids and some strange woman. I have to say the whole schooling thing we do is a bit odd if you really think about. I mean why do we send them away for 7 hrs a day to sit in a room learning stuff they forget over the summer? Mostly, I think, so they don’t drive us crazy. All that talk about learning, reading levels, and incremental learning is bullshit. Have you ever helped out in a first grade class? Talk about inefficient: some kids reading Harry Potter, others struggling over “the”; lots of noise and confusion, lots of songs and cupcakes.
I guess all an all it’s not as rigorous as say the manhood training described in Roots (our current bk club book): stealing the kids away at night, rumors of getting your “foto” cut off, permanent exhile from your mother's home, etc. But in the end maybe both events are basically the same. The most important thing about going off to school is the way it functions as a rite of passage, a separation from mother and father on the journey to adulthood and that’s it, nada mas.
The details of what we do in all kinds of situations (evaluating an essay, punching a time card, learning the times tables, giving a presentation) are not at all important. The only thing we carry with us is the ritual, the act, the fact that we did act. Of course one could then say why have kids learn all this stuff, why not do something else or nothing at all? But we must do something and we must do something with faith that it matters.
It seems to me that life is one faith sponsored act after another, that there might be very little real difference between the devout Muslim or Mormon and the skeptic atheist English prof. who religiously marks off each assignments, takes role, and evaluates carefully each piece of writing as if it all really mattered.
May that marvelous God in Heaven be with little Andrew as he sits alone in class today, missing hugs from his mom and bike rides with his dad.
9 comments:
Actually brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful title, too.
It's hard on all of us. Especially when, asked what he did today, Son usually responds, "nothing."
But that's a pretty broad definition of "nothing."
Your perspective and thoughts on education as presented here (and interpreted by me) suprise me. It almost seems as if you are ready to home school everyone -- this coming from an educated, educational professional. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss or trivialize what is learned in the classroom, and assume it's lost over the summer. Stuff, all kinds of stuff, gets absorbed into children's heads and comes out at the strangest of times.
I can just see your youngest doing as you described; he's a tender hearted boy, and one of the only people we feel comfortable letting Ethan play with unsupervised closely by us. We're glad you are all next door.
Now if you told me this was the oldest 6 years ago, I would have doubted you --- he's too "cool" to vocalize needing Mom and Dad. Such is the differences in children.
But note stg I still say all the education is important just not for the facts but rather for the ritual of separation--sure they will retain some stuff but I think that's ancillary to the emotional learning.
Hey am I the skeptic atheist English teacher religiously marking things off in this scenario? I think so. But if I don't mark things off the spreadsheet gods will be angry.
That's an interesting idea about "faith sponsored acts", although it strikes me that the faith is the rationalization for the act rather than the sponsor. An action that is obligatory becomes a lot easier to carry out if you believe in what you're doing--or can convince yourself that you do. And yeah, I think we all do that to some degree.
MB: yes, I was thinking of you
Shane: I'm not sure sponsored is the right word but I also think that to merely chalk up faith as rationalization oversimplifies the process. I might get called biology boy for this, but I do believe humans are hard-wired to find meaning and to believe that their actions count. It just makes sense that those genes would be passed down even if some of the time or even most of the time the "meaning" was not based in objective reality.
Thus :) I think it's more than rationalization because the ability to believe in the power of our actions is the essence of being human.
Just wanted to chime in...
I think it must be particularly hard to see the youngest now reach this major milestone. When the influences outside the home become as powerful as what they might be getting in the home. Even though I still think what we say to our kids probably still holds more weight (even for teenagers who will want you to think otherwise), but in my opinion, this socialization process is necessary if they are going to learn how to live in a group. The classroom seems to be a microcosm for the larger society. You've got your authority, you've got your rules, there is work and various roles, social negotiation, the police (aka vice principles), problem solving, you make messes, you clean up messes, you have deadlines, stress and tension release and hopefully now and then some fun and connection. Not really that much different for a first grader than for us.
I wouldn't say I was chalking up faith to "merely" rationalization. I was referring only to the "faith sponsored acts" you made reference to (sending your kids off to school, and grading papers, in other words). Of course, faith can also be wishful thinking. And I wouldn't use the word too broadly. I think there's a clear difference between "faith" that the sun will come up, which I would call "knowledge", and faith in the great Nobodaddy (to use W. Blake's term), for example.
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