Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A most audacious request

This morning I was met with a request which defies belief. I blinked several times, shook my head, and then focused carefully to see if the student was actually requesting admission to my summer class. No the student was not. Next, I rubbed my eyes and checked the date and reread carefully. Sure enough the student writes:

"I know that there is only one week or so of school left in this semester but if there was anyway I could some how add your class I would be enternaly greatful."

Yes indeed this is a student wishing to add my class with actually less than one week left of classes. The student assures me that he has already purchased all the class texts, read them and is willing to spend 10 hours day everyday until the end of the semester in order to pass. How does one respond to such a request? I have no idea. In fact I'm not even sure how I should write about it in my blog.

I could approach it through questions:

Seriously you read all of the class texts? All three novels? And all 1242 pages of our anthology?

Do you think I'm stupid?

Did you really think I'd say yes?

But this starts to sound repetitive. Instead maybe I could approach this writing task with potential challenges for the student:

If you have indeed read all 1242 pages of our anthology and all three novels, please submit by tomorrow a 30 page summary and analysis of your reading. Please include detailed references to every short story in the anthology and each chapter of every novel.

Of course I won't send either of these responses to this student. In fact I don't plan on replying at all. But I will say here, if being completely honest, that I'm quite grateful to this student. I now carry with me and will retell hundreds of times the MOST audacious student request I've every received. And for this I say, thank you.

7 comments:

Lisa B. said...

That is an amazing request. My goodness. It's one to add to the canon--of absurd(ly entertaining) stories, as you say. I wish you would compose a few possible e-mails replying to this request--the possibilities are endless.

middlebrow said...

It is an absurd request, but I also think the request is the logical consequence of our never ending desire to make higher education not simply accessible but convenient. Students have gotten that message. Don't want to take a class in person? Take it online. Don't want to take a sixteen week semester? How about an eight week semester? Eight weeks too long? Well, we have intense three week sessions. It's not that I'm absolutely against any of these particular efforts to make education accessible. But together they invite the question: at what point do we say no. Are there situations in which we want to argue that education should be less accessible, less convenient?

This of course goes back to the question we debated, as I recall, some time ago on our blogs about too many people going to higher ed--following the Chronicle of Higher ed piece on the issue.

I'm with Lisa. We need various replies.

Counterintuitive said...

If I had time I would invent some replies--not time on the horizon though.

I think that yes we do indeed need to say sometimes that education needs to be less accessible and convenient. Clearly both of these *can* lead to a lesser educational product.

lis said...

wtf? well, you are lucky because in any discussion about crazy students, you will trump all other stories. awesome.

Antistrophe said...

Dear student,

I will add you once you complete the following tasks:

1. Bring me the head of the evil creature that dwells in the cave on Omniss 4.

2. Bring me the rare blue crystal from deep in the mines on the southernmost continent of the planet Morgoth.

3. Bring me the coveted scrolls of the High Council of the Andromedian Sub-Committee of the Interstellar Union of Planets.

4. Bring me 5 bushels of Unobtanium.

Once you have completed the quest of these tasks, you will have proven yourself worthy of late admittance to my course.

Sincerely,

Captain CI
Senior Ambassador for "What Planet are You On?

Counterintuitive said...

A most excellent response Antistrophe--love it. Maybe I will email that to him as my response.

shane said...

I had a student last year who turned in his final papers on Dec. 31 and asked if he could still get credit--but that now seems like nothing.

I don't think I could resist responding in some way.