Sunday, July 24, 2005

Rexburg, The Tetons, and old age

We're at the in-laws. We enjoyed a great stay in Jackson on Friday and Saturday. I'm not a big fan of the shops--cowboy hats, bags of rocks, and moose decour--but I love going into Teton Park. After years of visiting Jackson, I actually felt like I actually got up in the Teton mountains. My wife's family enjoys eating at Jenny Lake but they are not much for hiking. Since we stayed overnight (very expensive), I was able to do a hike with my two oldest the next morning. We headed up the Death Canyon trail towards Phelps Lake overlook, a breathtaking view and only .9 miles of gradual uphill. From there we went down the switchbacks to the trail junction to Phelps Lake, but instead continued on towards Alaska Basin with a promise to my kids we would go to the lake on the way out. Then we started to ascend at a rapid pace. The rock chucks (at least that's what I call them) kept the kids from thinking about the heat and their aching legs, but that only worked for a mile or two. After some cajoling and putting my almost 8-year old on my back for about 1/3 mile (two steep switchbacks) we made it to the first "top," a basin with a pristine river and a winterized ranger cabin--about 7.5 miles round trip. The kids played in the river while I read for a bit from Nafisi's Reading Lolita in Tehran. After we were to meet up with my wife, youngest son, and the in-laws back at Taggart Lake but they were not there. Thank goodness we'd set-up a secondary plan: if we miss or don't see each other we'll meet back in Rexburng.

Turns out my mother-in-law had forgotten an important medication so they'd all set out for Rexburg at 10am. Her health has detiorated quickly over the last year or so. It doesn't seem fair as she's only in her 60s and has already had to overcome other big life challenges. She doesn't have anything life-threatening but she can't get around too well; she's kind of bent over to the side and is on powerful pain meds. Old age, health problems and the like scare me more than I can even consciously admit. Seeing her in pain and witnessing her frustration about what she can't do has made me realize that getting older demands we expect less of our bodies. I know this is a no-brainer but I just can't get my head around it emotionally. I've probably put too much stock in my running, in running faster, in running farther, in completing some all day adventure. I guess seeing my mother-in-law forces me to admit that my own body is breaking down, that is I can no longer say, "this is just another injury [I currently have a hip issue which caused me to miss an uphill race in Jackson--the original impetus for this whole trip] and I'll surely recover on the other side." There will be a time when accepting less will be the only option. Maybe then I can focus solely on the beauty of a hike in the Tetons without a pang of regret about covering half the distance I could have covered if I were running.

1 comment:

Lisa B. said...

I had a whole rash of "wait till you reach my age, sonny" responses, but I'll spare you. I do, however, recommend, as you adjust to the long process you've been embarked on for awhile now--aging--thinking of the body and all it allows us as an enormous gift. Not saying that I can do this yet, but am recommending the attitude. Also, I think often of the New Yorker cartoon that has a person sitting up in bed, facing the Angel of Death at the foot of the bed. The Angel says, "You've just turned forty. I'm taking away your muscle tone and your ability to digest french fries. That's all for now."