I so badly want to be an optimist at this time—hell I just finished a two week break—but I struggle. I struggle each year as the looming semester comes at me. All the stuff I thought I would do is still piled on my desk or, worse, still in a bag on the floor in a corner. Certainly part of the issue is that stuff comes up, important stuff, stuff I haven’t made time for during the semester: taking kids to movies (saw Narnia and King Kong at the theatre and rented War of the Worlds); remodeling kitchen and downstairs bedroom; helping a friend with electrical remodeling; card playing with family; organizing garage and books (well some of my books). But the central issue isn’t this “other” stuff but my inability to focus unless I have a deadline right in front of me. Crap, I’ve been avoiding my blog because of these very pessimistic and depressing words I’m compelled to write. I would much rather happily revel in sleeping in, hanging out, and watching TV like many of my blogger buddies, but I just can’t. I guess I’m cursed to half-heartedly enjoy the break while worrying about what I’m not doing, even though I still don’t get much done which then necessitates an unproductive panic mode a few days before the end of the break.
A friend pointed out that my blog was depressing and, at least for today, I’d have to agree.
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